I just discovered that Hollywood’s making a Noah movie, so I thought I’d do a Noah article–one by one “Gary J. Hall,” otherwise known as DJS’s underworld name as a record-holding raccoon penis bone huffer.

We see the truth now! We’re ready to repent and rebuild our lives for righteousness!! …What, NOW it’s too late? I see mercy isn’t in your CV of eminent goodness, Noah.

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Why yes, I do file my eyes daily. Why do you ask?

Chew on this piece of riveting journalistic muckraking from one Texe Marrs. The famed Scofield Reference Bible–beloved by evangelicals all across the nation for many decades due to its very credulous annotations–is, of course, the work of the devil. Personally, I don’t think enough of the things in this world are hell gas in disguise.

I am constantly amazed at the gross spiritual apathy and blasphemy of men and women, supposedly “Christians,” who possess a woeful ignorance of the true meaning of the Kingdom of God.

As shocking as it may seem, millions of people who consider themselves perfectly knowledgeable of the prophetic scriptures are today working earnestly in a misguided effort to help Satan and the Beast of Revelation establish their latter days global kingdom.

Disgustingly, these millions of “evangelical” and “fundamentalist” Christians actually believe that in helping Satan and the Beast set up their bloody kingdom on earth, they are, in reality, serving God.

Somehow I’m not buying that a significant portion of the population sees themselves as giving Lucifer the leg up.

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Article here.

The sinful world has their own perverted definition of what “nakedness” means. The horrible, lewd, bad influence on young girls, Taylor Swift, was recently featured on Joan Rivers’ filthy show, The Fashion Police, commenting about Taylor’s wardrobe and appearance at the 2013 American Music Awards. Miss Swift was wearing a tight gold miniskirt all the way up to her private area. Her thighs were completely exposed and naked. Her chest area was exposed except for a thin strap that covered her breast teats.

“Her right breast teat was clearly .047 millimeters longer than the other. Is there a clearly sign of Satan than this? No, in fact that is God’s new definition of Satan.”

I can feel the irresistible urge to rape welling up already, which is why I keep a cactus near my crotch at all times.

I think you may be overselling the shock value, Stewart. Maybe when you’re the only one blowing up at this, YOU’RE the one with the issue.

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Moon Goddess1

FINALLY – the most mature podcast in the universe has found an excuse to devote a whole episode to “jizz”. As you will hear, this episode is all really all about birds. Listen to discover all about birds’ jizz and it’s role in in faith, folklore and mythology.


Now that Joe is living in Japan, we felt it would behoove us to revisit some Japanese folklore. One can never have enough of cute animals with giant testicles, vengeful crabs, boys born from Freudian peaches, 10th century science fiction, less than ideal wives, painfully bad voice acting and the ukulele – can one?

Isaiah 24:9, “They shall not drink wine with a song; strong drink shall be bitter to them that drink it.”

Pro tip, Stewart. The context of that verse is a description of the end of the world. It’s not a commandment to abstain from drinking wine with song.

Grab a beer, or, if you really want to stick it to Stewart, down some pure rubbing alcohol. I don’t mind if you read this riff upside-down.

It is so sad what has happened to America. Every form of wickedness is being shamelessly and shamefully committed, glorified and paraded in American culture these days—fornication, nudity, taking the Lord’s name in vain, dishonoring parents, covetousness, stealing, violence, adultery, homosexuality, idolatry, abortion, nudity and DRUNKENNESS!!! Drunkenness is a Trojan Horse sin, opening the door to many other horrible sins, particularly lewdness, violence and sexual immorality.

When you’re super drunk, however, your lewdness is covered up by that morning’s pancakes, so it’s okay. And you can’t hit what you can’t reach, whether it’s your fist or your peen. In other words, drinking until you can barely function also means drinking until you can barely sin.

Worldly singers Jimmy Buffet and Toby Keith ought to be ashamed of themselves for their latest song… “TOO DRUNK TO KARAOKE.” In barrooms, night clubs and music venues all across America beer drinkers are singing this new shameful hit song… “TOO DRUNK TO KARAOKE!” Karaoke has become very popular in nightclubs and taverns in recent decades. It’s simply the backing track versions of original songs, which allow anybody and everybody to sing along with the song. Toby Keith seems to have a sinful infatuation with booze and alcoholism in his music. It sells more records. In “TOO DRUNK TO KARAOKE,” both Jimmy Buffet and Toby Keith are portrayed as being drunks. What a horrible shame to glorify the sin of drunkenness!

Yes, I’m sure they croon many an ode to alcoholism. “Beat your wife/ to eject the wine from her mooooouth / this is life/ when you’re from the sooooooouth”

Here are some of the lyrics which I typed out to the Godless song, “TOO DRUNK TO KARAOKE”

Last night at the bar it was Karaoke night
Yeah, everybody down there was feeling’ alright
They got big margarita *pitchers
(bitches?) 2-for-1… yum, yum
They were feeling foot loose and ready for some fun

*Note: It’s obvious from the song that Jimmy Buffet is saying “bitches” instead of pitchers in the song, evidenced by the whores in the video and the following words in the lyrics, “They were feeling foot loose and ready for some fun.” Clearly, it’s a play on words.

What, no linking “loose feet” to the papacy’s advocacy of works salvation?

I’m just sad the whores weren’t carrying briefcases because that would have finally spurred Stewart’s blissful bodily explosion

When I signed up I was ready to go
but they didn’t call my name for an hour or so
Damn if it didn’t make me wait too long
I was in no kind of shape to sing a John
______ song
(I couldn’t find the spelling of this word)

Too drunk to karaoke! Too drunk to karaoke!
If you keep on drinking, you’re going to be too drunk to karaoke just like me

Well the place got rockin, temptation was too strong
All the pretty girls kept eggin’ me on
We’ll I should have kept my flip flops glued to the chair
Well no, I jumped right up and slicked back my hair

Too drunk to karaoke. Too drunk to karaoke
Well you can sing in the shower til you sound real good
You can terrorize the whole damn neighborhood
But when you hit that stage with that mike in your hand
You better pace yourself son, if you wanna have fans

Too drunk to karaoke! Too drunk to karaoke!
If you keep on drinking, you’re going to be too drunk to karaoke just like me…
Too drunk to karaoke!
Too drunk to karaoke!
Too drunk to karaoke!
Too drunk to karaoke!

It’s a shame that Toby Keith and Jimmy Buffet don’t care about their influence as role models on America’s youth and around the world. Teens hear 34 liquor bands a day in Hip Hop and Rap. Country music is just as bad. Toby Keith just released another pro-alcohol song in July of 2013 titled, “I Like Girls Who Drink.” Only God in Heaven knows how many teen girls are going to start drinking because of Toby Keith’s stupid songs!!! Country Music Television (CMT) these days, and Great American Country (GAC) are becoming increasingly risqué, raunchy and saturated with sexual immorality. God hates lasciviousness, which promotes to sexual crimes. The American people are in woeful denial that our irresponsible culture of lust, booze and perversion is corrupting our youth. The Bible teaches that we are all a product of our environment. Acts 4:20, “For we cannot but speak the things which we have seen and heard.”

Yes. All girls lunge headlong into the wares of the liquor aisle when they catch “I Like Girls Who Drink” because Toby Keith was born irresistible.

The song promotes sexual immorality…

Well the place got rockin, temptation was too strong
All the pretty girls kept eggin’ me on

Booze and sexual immorality are virtually synonymous. Taverns are houses of sin. It shouldn’t come as a surprise that Sin City Las Vegas is predominantly Mormon!!! Mormons work in the casinos and hotels. Mormonism is the Devil’s religion, steeped in sexual immorality. What a better place for sexually perverted Mormons than ground zero in the most sexually perverse city on earth since Sodom… LAS VEGAS!!!

I await your article on the population of pinko Amish in the world’s haven of communism, New York City

At 0:24 in the video “TOO DRUNK TO KARAOKE,” the following creepy occult image appears. Notice the darkened All Seeing Eye. Also, notice the grey Illuminati ‘The Great Pyramid’ to the left of Santa’s bottom lip. The scene before this screen capture shows the name of the bar, which is, “Santa’s.” It’s not coincidence that the karaoke tavern is called Santa’s, a clear rearrangement of the word “SATAN’S.” People have no idea how steeped American culture is in satanism and the occult…



Above Image: A Screen Capture From The Music Video “TOO DRUNK TO KARAOKE.” Notice clearly that the All-Seeing-Eye is located immediately above The Great Pyramid. Santa’s head is actually SATAN’S head! Do you see the Devil with his eye looking down upon the New World Order? Notice the word “KARAOKE” above Santa’s head. This is a subliminal message. In other words, American society is drunk with cares, riches and pleasures… too drunk to see the truth of the Devil’s New World Order!!!

American society is drunk with CARES! How dare you not twiddle your thumbs and fart in Jesus’ name for the rest of your life?

And what, pray tell, is KARAOKE a subliminal message for?

Ladies and gentleman, the architects of the New World Order (aka, the globalists) are mocking our stupidity. They’re mocking the average American who is being led as lambs to the slaughter. While most Americans are pimp-dancing with impudent faces; lewd, crude and rude; intoxicated with booze; our liberties are being robbed, a police state is rising up quickly and everything our society once held dear is disappearing before our very eyes, but we’re all “TOO DRUNK TO KARAOKE”!!!

Stewart! Maybe if you grind yourself into a paste, you can jam the works of the New World Order slaughter machine! Think how Jesus sacrificed himself, then kindly cause yourself more pain!!

Dr. Jack Hyles preached an eye-opening sermon back in 1970 titled, Why The Antichrist Must Come Soon. Basically, Dr. Hyles explains how nearly every dictatorship in history arose from the ashes of social decadence and anarchy. Likewise, the Antichrist will arise from the ashes of American society. This is what is meant on the reverse of every U.S. one-dollar bill by the Latin saying, “ONE OUT OF MANY” (i.e., ORDER FROM CHAOS). This refers to World Government, which is the Beast system of the coming Antichrist, the man of sin. Revelation 17:10-12 teach about the 8 kings. The 8th king will be the Antichrist.

“One out of many” has been referring to the world government all along, which is why it’s not on any other country’s currency! It’s not like America has some sort of union of sub-governments it could be referring to

Dr. Phil Exposes Toby Keith And Jimmy Buffet As “Enablers”

The sinful world even tells on themselves. Whether he realizes it or not, Dr. Phil exposes Jimmy Buffet and Toby Keith as “ENABLERS” for their music that encourages substance abuse and drunkenness. In their shameful song “TOO DRUNK TO KARAOKE,” Buffet and Keith make up their own word called “DRUNK-A-TIV-ITY.” The sin of drunkenness is a big joke to them! Read what Dr. Phil says about “ENABLERS” …

An enabler is a person who, acting out of a sincere sense of love, loyalty and concern, steps in to protect, cover up for, make excuses for and become more responsible for the chemically dependent person. This can prevent the addicted individual from a crisis that might bring about change, and thereby prolong his or her illness.

Brilliant reading of the situation, Stewart. They’re enablers because they personally pay out of pocket for the drinks of all the bar-goers that happen to be listening to one of their songs while ordering, and have petitioned the White House to repeal the age limit for drinking.

But lest you think Stewart likes Dr. Phil

Dr. Phil is an unsaved Modernist, who teaches behavioral modification instead of the new birth as the Bible teaches. Dr. Phil is absolutely correct about enablers, and I’m sure he’d agree to some extent that Jimmy Buffet and Toby Keith are “enablers” of alcohol abuse. Binge drinking is no different than an Oxycontin party. Check online and you’ll learn that ALCOHOL is classified as a “SCHEDULE I” narcotic. That means alcohol is highly addictive and is NOT medically necessary. Literally, alcohol is in the same category as crystal-meth and street heroin.

If you so much as breathe in the vicinity of a drop of alcohol, your blood cells turn into little unsaved Modernists.

It’s no coincidence that sexual content on television has DOUBLED since 1998. TV has become so perverted. I recently saw a perverted commercial for Liquid Plumber, where a female customer says she only has 10-minutes for the young man at the hardware store to unstop her drain. He says he can do it in 7-minutes and he’s holding a 15-foot pipe from his groin in her direction. Here’s another perverted Liquid Plumber commercial. Satan has taken over our country! No wonder perverts are everywhere!!! Americans have watched filthy Late Night Shows for so long that the awfulness of sin is gone!!! There is no fear of God today (Romans 3:18). Psalms 36:1, “The transgression of the wicked saith within my heart, that there is no fear of God before his eyes.” David said that the wickedness of the wicked evidence that they do not fear God. Hardly anyone fears God anymore. I fear God! do you?

As well all know, Liquid Plumber invented the concept of the naughty joke, which did not exist in the whole annals of human history before then. The story of mankind is the story of pairs fucking once at age 11 while discussing the finer points of how wrong Calvinism would be once it began to exist, and then going to bed dreaming of Jesus’ sterling pecs until they rotted into an ooze.

We’re going into the process of dehumanization right now in America. We have forgotten God! We are a nation of drunken gluttons who glorify getting drunk, acting the fool and suffering a hangover the next morning. I’ve never understood the self-gratification that people receive from bragging to others that they got drunk, danced naked on the roof, woke up in a stranger’s apartment, puked on their neighbors lawn, or drove their car through the garage door. Oh boy, sounds like fun doesn’t it? Idiots! We are living in a nation of idiots. Sadly, the biggest idiots are the judges, lawyers and legislators who allow this debauchery to continue. 

So you want police patrolling the lands to outlaw booze. But you DON’T want a police state. Oh, that’s right, it’s not a police state when they make everyone else do as YOU would like.

I mean, we’re crazy in America. Our government is more concerned about children drowning in open 5-gallon buckets, than they are about children being killed by drunk drivers. Every year in America, millions of people are either killed, injured or permanently crippled because of alcohol. Alcohol is a deadly poison… “deadly” because it is NOT recognized in society as such. Beer is without a doubt one of the MOST consumed beverages today. Is it any wonder that so many people are still becoming victims.

DJS is only upset because he was disappointed that laying down 5-gallon buckets does not, in fact, lure in children.

Thank God, I’ve never drank a drop of liquor in my life and by God’s grace don’t plan on starting. The world can keep their liquid Devil. Beer is for fools. I’ve seen some horrible things in my life because of alcohol. I’ve seen men lying in the street gutter, intoxicated, and others dead. Countless people have frozen to death on the streets in Chicago because they drank alcohol and it tricked them. Alcohol makes you feel warm, while actually lowering your body’s core temperature until you die. I watched a drunk man run a knife through his hand, just about cutting his thumb off. I’ve seen men beat their wives, break out the windows on their home, drive off the road and have stood over the graves of the dead who were murdered by a drunk driver. I’ll never forget that little white coffin next to his mother’s full-size coffin. The two coffins were lowered into their graves. I’ll never forget that smaller sized grave. She was pregnant when a drunk driver struck her. The drunk lived.

Damn, it was me who did all of those things. I’ll never eat another of those little chocolate liquor balls again!




It’s that ghoulish time of year once again. That’s right, it’s nearing that frightful dawn when Christmas-related pressure reaches our shops and TV screens. But for some reason, David J. Stewart isn’t feeling the cheer. He seems to think there’ a whiff of Satan in the air on this hallowed eve.

The saying “Trick or Treat”[1] has been around for the past century, but has been extremely popular since the 1950’s when popularized in American culture.

Although it is unknown precisely where and when the phrase “trick or treat” was coined, the custom had been firmly established in American popular culture by 1951, when trick-or-treating was depicted in the Peanuts comic strip. In 1952, Disney produced a cartoon called “Trick or Treat” featuring Donald Duck and his nephews Huey, Dewey and Louie.


The demonic cliché has been commercialized into a $5,770,000,000 a year industry in the United States for candy, costumes and other Halloween related supplies. The meaning behind the phrase is quite simple, that is, give me a treat or I’ll do something bad to you! The implications are a horrifying character lesson for children of all ages… Give me a treat or face the consequences! It may seem like harmless fun to most people, but if you really think about it (and we all should), it’s a horrible precedent to set for kids. The dark history behind Halloween is disturbing. The pagan holiday undeniably has its origins in witchcraft.

Hmmm, I wonder if there’s some sort of popular deity that punishes people if they don’t obey. It rings a bell.

I also like how he seems to think Christianity has a spotless history. Yes, Stewart, global Christianity for 2,000 years has been exactly like modern American fundamentalism. Christ spent his days breaking electric guitars across his knees before the Pope came to whisk him away to be placed into the Catholic blood grinder for mass that Sunday.

In October of 2012, Christian Post Reporter Alex Murashko interviewed a former witch, Seleah Ally, who revealed in her book, TAKEN FROM THE NIGHT: A WITCHES ENCOUNTER WITH GOD, that witchcraft is closely connected with feminism…

Christian Post: We’ve all heard many stories about the origins of Halloween. As someone who has done a lot of research in this area can you give us a brief summary of what you believe to be the origins of the holiday celebrated in the U.S.?

Tower: Halloween as celebrated in the USA is a somewhat diluted version of various traditions mostly stemming from medieval times. Kids dressing in costume and going door to door looking for treats, which is one of the main Halloween events, can be found in “souling” or dressing in rags. This Dark Ages practice included going door to door in search for soul cakes in return for prayers for the deceased or in “guising” where masqueraders carried lanterns made of scooped-out turnips going door to door in hopes of being rewarded with cakes, fruit and money.

Today, adults and even teenagers have taken another medieval time tradition of demanding beer or ale while costumed in exchange for a performance as an opportunity to party. During the Dark Ages, many actually feared encounters with mischievous spirits and wore masks so that ghosts would mistake them for a fellow spirit if they had to go out at night.

Christian Post: What is it about witches in particular? You were drawn to a witch’s “lifestyle” at one point in your life. Why the fascination from your perspective and why do so many others hold, in some cases, a peculiar obsession?

Tower: A witch has a certain mystique about her and for many the allure has to do with both the unknown and the unthinkable. It’s our natural curiosity that causes us to be fascinated with the unknown and the witch portrays this mystery as well as the excitement of entertaining the unthinkable.

For me personally, the appeal was self-empowerment and the feminine aspect of witchcraft. The lifestyle enabled me the freedom to make my own decisions according to how I saw fit and gave me the ability to put those changes into action through magic. I think a lot of people are looking for a hands-on spirituality where they can incorporate their own will rather than God’s will. We live in a “me” focused society that’s all about what “I” want. Part of it is the fault of churches because Christianity should not be a spectator religion. We are all part of the Body and each one of us has a significant part in the whole Church.

SOURCE: Halloween Season: Former Witch on Breaking From the Coven – Part 2

As you just read, Seleah Ally says that witchcraft appealed to her feminist instincts. Feminism is rebellion against God-ordained authority.

One witch was a feminist. The next logical inference is that all witches are feminists.

Therefore, following the David J. Stewart Principle of Only Reading Into Things What You Want to Believe, or NAMBLA for short, all of Stewart’s articles contain a secret, subliminal code inviting Satan into the hearts of his readers and the entire site is a diabolical bait-and-switch of mythic proportions.

It is interesting in the preceding interview that Ms Ally connects witchcraft with feminism. The Bible does too! 1st Samuel 15:23, “For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry. Because thou hast rejected the word of the LORD, he hath also rejected thee from being king.” Feminism is rebellion against God-ordained masculine authority in the marriage, home, church and even God and the Bible. This is why the contemporary evil agenda of this filthy and crooked generation is a transgendered Bible (or a neutral gendered version of the Scriptures).

The Devil’s trick is no treat. Satan’s only will for your life is to hinder you from doing God’s will. Satan will lie, cheat, connive and steal to hurt you if he can within God’s permissive will. Bless God, the Devil cannot do anything to me without God’s permission, because greater is He (Jesus Christ) Who lives in us than he (the Devil) Who is in the world (1st John 4:4). Just as God placed a hedge around Job so Satan couldn’t touch him, so also does ever believer in Christ have a hedge between them and the powers of Satan. I am safe in my heavenly Father’s hands!!!

2nd Corinthians 11:3-6, “But I fear, lest by any means, as the serpent beguiled Eve through his subtilty, so your minds should be corrupted from the simplicity that is in Christ. For if he that cometh preacheth another Jesus, whom we have not preached, or if ye receive another spirit, which ye have not received, or another gospel, which ye have not accepted, ye might well bear with him. For I suppose I was not a whit behind the very chiefest apostles. But though I be rude in speech, yet not in knowledge; but we have been throughly made manifest among you in all things.”

That’s funny, because there have been a ton of Bible characters who rejected God’s authority or did bad things and ended up all right. David even became a king.

And are you really all that safe in God’s hands? Because they seem awfully slick with red to me.

Don’t be tricked by the Devil. If you always search the Scriptures for the truth, then you cannot be deceived by Satan. Roman Catholics have been tricked by Satan, because they trust the words of mortal men over the inspired Words of a divine God. Never trust in the flesh of mankind. Jeremiah 17:5, “Thus saith the LORD; Cursed be the man that trusteth in man, and maketh flesh his arm, and whose heart departeth from the LORD.” We ought to trust only in the name of our precious Lord Jesus Christ!!!

Never trust in the flesh of mankind. It’s not as tough as leather for wearing or using as handbags.

Satan wants you to trust him. The Devil sends his ministers of unrighteousness, who are disguised the Bible says as ministers of righteousness (2nd Corinthians 11:13-15). Satan’s game is deception (Matthew 7:13-15). The Bible plainly warns us of Satan’s methods. How ironic and tragic that most people refuse to believe that the Devil is real. I heard professed atheist Bill Maher on TV this week challenging the existence of a literal Devil. Maher rejects Satan’s existence. He doesn’t believe it. Oh, how Satan deceives and blinds the minds of unbelievers to hinder them from seeing the truth of the light of the gospel (2nd Corinthians 4:4). Do you believe in a literal Devil?

It’s only because Maher vaccinated the devil to death. Your fears are allayed.

Satan is a spirit, so you won’t see him if you are looking for a character with horns, a red pitch fork and a tail. Demons are fallen angels, spirits. Man in not the fleshly human body; but rather, the spirit of a man is who he really is. Man’s spirit is vulnerable through his soul and body to satanic influences (music, philosophies, lusts, alcohol, drugs, traditions, et cetera). These can all be used as mediums by which to contact the spirit world. Satan is often clearly seen operating through these mediums.

Hey, Stewart. Here’s a question. If even pure beings like angels are susceptible to falling while by God’s side, what makes a puny human like you so immune?

The Devil’s lie is that you can drink alcohol and not get burned. My philosophy is that you can’t get drunk if you don’t take the first sip! You can’t take two drinks of beer if you don’t take the first. You cannot eat at the Devil’s table without getting food poisoning!

In fact, why bother eating? Somewhere the Bible must confirm that food is the cause of food poisoning (a crack team is searching for chapter and verse as we speak) and it’s best to be safe. And while we’re at it, let’s stop breathing. 100% of serial killers breathe, you know.

The Devil has been tricking women into having abortions for nearly a half century now in the United States. Satan comes along subtly, as he did to Eve in the Garden of Eden, seemingly having good intentions; but the truth is that the Devil is a malicious liar whose only purpose is to steal, kill and destroy your life. The Devil’s trick is no treat. Most women who have had abortions eventually wake up to the cold reality that they allowed their precious child to be murdered. That empty place at the dinner table will haunt them for the rest of their life. And the dark truth about abortion is that many women who have undergone surgical abortion procedures end up having multiple miscarriages when they do choose to stop whoring around and have a child.

LOLLL. So abortions didn’t exist before fifty years ago? When Satan suddenly expanded his market share to the common uterus? Jesus should really have pushed harder in the cosmic boardroom to keep that strategic holding, and now God is contractually obligated to deal a spiritual gut punch even to the wombs of women who have turned their lives around. Meanwhile those who persist in their whoring get  free abortion engines for innards! But look at it this way, all those fetuses get free tickets to heaven, so isn’t it actually a service rendered? They get to skip this evil world and nudge St. Peter’s ankles directly.

The Devil is a beautiful liar! Sin is like cocaine, giving you that rush of pleasure for the first time, but it’s all downhill from there! Sin will never be as fun as the first time, and it only gets worse and worse over time. Being right with the Lord, and knowing that you are right with the Lord, is the sweetest and most peaceful feeling in all the world. Sin cannot do that. Living for the Lord never leads to guilt, misery and sorrow. Amen! You cannot go wrong by clinging to the unchanging Word of God and living to please Him.

It’s the sweetest, most peaceful feeling of biting your nails for the world to crash at any time into a cataclysm of unprecedented violence and suffering.

A clear example is all the open Satan worship in the heavy-metal music industry. Who can deny that Black Sabbath, Ozzy Osbourne, Venom and Slayer all worship the Beast? To be tricked by the Devil always leads to severe consequences.

Who can deny that Bob the Builder has a large, almost inhuman nose? Who can deny that all fictional characters throughout history were born from Harry Potter’s cursed manwomb?

Perhaps Satan’s most effective weapon is the unwillingness to forgive others. Some people think that they are being a good Christian by continually forcing a person to relive their sins and mistakes from the past; but in reality, you are hurting that person, and helping Satan to ruin that person and church. Listen to what the Apostle Paul says. 2nd Corinthians 2:10-11 “To whom ye forgive any thing, I forgive also: for if I forgave any thing, to whom I forgave it, for your sakes forgave I it in the person of Christ; Lest Satan should get an advantage of us: for we are not ignorant of his devices.” Paul fully realized that Satan uses holding grudges to undermine churches.

Christ: Hold my PAINFUL, oh so TORTUROUS and LOATHSOME sacrifice that I was in fact meant to do all along on the Jews and their descendants forever! Oh but don’t hold grudges

In 1st Corinthians, we learn that open sin should not be tolerated in the church. Homosexuality, adultery, gossip, divorce, hatred, self-righteousness, indifference and feminism ought to be preached against from the pulpit. A pastor ought to preach uncompromisingly with God’s unconditional love against sin. You don’t preach against people; but rather, you preach against sin, and then if the shoe fits, wear it! Remember, the Holy Spirit always convicts you of PRESENT sins, but the Devil convicts you of PAST sins in an attempt to discourage you from serving God. Proverbs 10:12, “Hatred stirreth up strifes: but love covereth all sins.”

I thought hatred strifeth up stirs!!

A treat picked out for your reading pleasure by Emma, today we will be delving into Stewart’s thoughts on a certain buxom restaurant chain.

We are living in wicked times. Amidst all the 50 or so Baptist churches I’ve seen this past week, I was saddened to see a Hooters breastaurant in Knoxville. Over my dead body would you ever find me in a Hooters. I’ve never been in one and never plan to. I knew a professed Christian man who once told me that he only goes to Hooters for their delicious chicken wings. That is wrong! Low-moral women with large breasts are hired to wear tight T-shirts to lure lustful customers. Public lewdness causes lasciviousness and is a sin. It is evil. Hell will freeze over before I go to Hooters, even if they’re the last place on earth that sell chicken wings!!! Speaking of Chicken wings, I ordered some buffalo flavored wings from Papa Johns Pizza last night! Em, em, those are some great chicken wings! Yes Sir!

Holy shit wow. Where to begin?

I could start by tearing into the fundy notion that anything that could be tempting is to be banned immediately and completely. So what, did God hand out big boobs to make those women pariahs, forever to be covered up and avoided? I don’t know about you, but personally I’m not some hair-trigger rapebeast who can’t control himself when a certain mound of flesh comes into view. If you lay some tasty BUFFALO FLAVORED WINGS before me, however, then that mound of flesh is another story entirely.

Second of all, Papa John’s Pizza is the number one reason God can’t possibly exist.

And now onto tattoos I guess??

I’ve never seen so many people marked with tattoos as nowadays. Tattoos are worldly. No Christian should get a tattoo. I saw one tattoo shop called, “Wicked Tattoo.” You don’t go to church to get a tattoo; but rather, you have to go to a house of sin, a worldly establishment, a place where the artist doing the tattoos is as worldly, wicked and saturated with marks of Satan as can be. As with all things that are wrong, many people have seemingly reasonable excuses for getting tattoos. The truth is that the human body is the temple of the Holy Spirit if you are a born-again Christian (1st Corinthians 3:16-17). God literally lives within your body if you are saved (Romans 8:9). Thus, the Lord doesn’t want us to defile our bodies with tattoos, cigarettes, fornication or substance abuse. Satan knows that if he can get you to disrespect your body, then he owns you. Don’t let the Devil advertise on your body.

I love how literalists are never actually literalists. Hey Stewart, where does it say that one’s body being a temple means you can’t put tattoos on it? That’s just your personal interpretation, and isn’t it funny how God agrees with you in everything exactly? Y0u could use that logic for literally anything. Don’t put glasses on, you’re defiling the temple that is your eyes, distorting the way God wanted you to view Creation! Don’t put on that necktie, things that are longer than they are wide are all obviously pagan fertility symbols! Amputate your limbs to have less phalluses on you!

The first thing that Hollywood does to break-in a new actor is to film them completely naked, to desecrate the human body, showing that Satan now owns their soul. You are required to sell your soul to make it big in Hollywood. Along with the soul comes the body and everything else. You can name any big name actor you want… they’ve stripped it all off! In an infamous act of beastly immorality, a desperate mother ripped off her own daughter’s clothes in front of Hollywood studios, begging them to put her daughter into the movies. No wonder the Lord said that no one can serve God and mammon (wealth). You will cling to the one in love, and despise the other in hate. This is what the Lord teaches (Matthew 6:24). Every Christian should decide in their heart and mind that they HATE money and LOVE God. The love of money is the Devil’s trick, and the treat is a sorrowful life, “which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows” (1st Timothy 6:10).

Furthermore, those Satanic pre-ripped jeans were invented to make them easier to tear off for Hollywood executives! The cads!!

That’s all for this week. Hoot hoot.




Joe and Emma have never done anything not illegal, and this is doubly true for the Meat Mutant podcast. Furthermore, we own absolutely every property swiped for cheap gags, a fact that may come as a surprise to those who created them. Lawyers, please sling only your most defamatory arrows. Go for the low blows. Contact Joe for a list of everything wrong he's ever done, he should have a fresh list in about fifteen.