Joe wrote this episode. It’s a pisser, no bullshit.
A very special episode in which Joemma MEET for the second time ever to discuss MEAT and religion. Sink your teeth into this juicy episode (but only under very strict conditions, and with a truckload of guilt). Herewith we METE out this episode. Cheers.
In honour of St Cupid dying a horrible, torturous death, we bring you over an hour’s worth of JIS and grotesque love worms. Enjoy the six six sixiness, Mutant Meat lovers.
Firstly, a JIS from Pastor Ironside. The, sit back and enjoy the rich, interleaving, ultra-real multi-sensory experience as Joemma and Tort discuss Dr. Eben Alexander’s trip to heaven and back. This episode is “sacred acoustics” at their finest.
Joemma go down south to explore the myths, religious beliefs and folklore of some of the people of Oceania. We visit some of the smaller and more exotic islands such as Palau, Vanuatu, Rapa Nui, and of course, D.J.S.’s recent homeland, Guam. Tales of lewd tentacles, rockin’ men, coconut radios and salty grunt men await y’all.
Man’s Sin Nature Is In His Heart (SOUL), Not The Physical Brain Itself
Well my sin nature is in my sweat glands, judging by how much sin I leak every time I spot a female’s nude ankle. Shows how much you know!!
While mass-murderer, John Wayne Gacy, was still alive, he was interviewed numerous times by Helen Morrison, a forensic psychiatrist. When Gacy was executed, she came back to get his brain, and dissected it to see if there were any “tumors, scars or disease that made it abnormal.”1 Morrison eagerly awaited for the results to come back from the pathologist, which simply stated, “Normal brain.”1 Morrison states, “What makes a serial killer? After all these years, I still don’t know.”1 Helen Morrison still has Gacy’s brain stored in a plastic bag and “hopes that one day DNA or other scientific advances may lead to new tests.”1 If Morrison were a Christian and read the Bible, she would know that the problem was in Gacy’s wicked heart. Jeremiah 17:9, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?”
And to think, they’re going to start allowing Gacy marriage to infect our souls… via our brains.
Stewart forgets to mention the very well known by everyone fact that brain damage tends to alter behavior quite a bit, but that’s understandable as his own brain, much like a soul, is also an unquantifiable tap on the pane of strained logic.
Today was one of those countless days in my life when I had to go take a walk after learning about the cryonics industry. This stuff is mind boggling, strange and disturbing to say the least.
Agreed, because when God created floods and viruses, he. meant. business.
Brian & Ruth Christine
A Christian Family…
Terrorized and destroyed by the Government!
If they were a non-Christian family, I wouldn’t have to be put out of my way to pretend to care! Those BASTARDS
Is Your Family Next?
Stewart’s only butthurt because America rejected his constitutional amendment that would instate himself as the official fourth branch of government, the Prenatal Privates Inspector.
Actually, this seems to be written by Brian and Ruth Christine themselves. They were always very social about their getting serviced, but not like this!!
Wickedness, that’s when a woman says a thing you don’t want to hear, right? The only recourse is pulling one of her teeth, right, Bible? Eh, the Bible is big. I’m sure it agrees with me somewhere.
There is a sore evil under the sun that I have sun. Solomon often used that phrase in the Old Testament. Well, I have also seen a sore evil. I have seen this again and again and it is evil to the core.
“In fact, whenever I meatspin, I see this sore evil over and over and over and over and over and over and…”
Some women get married and then don’t do their duties as a mother and a wife. While the husband is at work paying the bills, the wife gets into mischief (whether it be gossiping on the phone, flirting with other men, being lazy, not cleaning the house, hiding the mail, criticizing her husband, spending money they don’t have, et cetera).
Who the fuck hides the mail? I can only conclude an ex-wife did this to Stewart at some point, for whatever reason. Maybe it was whatever mail wasn’t addressed DR. MASTER DAVID J. STEWART, KING OF HIS RIGHTEOUS, MOST PROPERLY PATRIARCHAL CASTLE knowing he’d burn those envelopes immediately.
That wife is a dead weight in her husband’s life. She drags him down. When he had a zeal for God and wanted to do right, she quenched his fire for God by complaining that he went somewhere with out her, or she nags that he bought something instead of letting her buy something, or she whines about their apartment or is unhappy with the small size of her home. She makes his life more difficult. Instead of being a Biblical HELP MEET (Genesis 2:18), she is a nuisance and a burden to him.
She only has worth as a servile being whose every thought should lie with making sure he’s comfortable in his management of her misery! Men are awful sinners unless I’m talking about their homelife, in which case they can do no wrong and should never be questioned!
Year-after-year the husband tries to do the right thing, while his wife doesn’t care. While he’s trying to carry the heavy load of being a father and a husband, she’s placing bricks on top of the load, making it more difficult for him. While he’s at work, she’s watching TV. While he’s getting dirty on the job, her house stays dirty because she won’t clean it. While he’s eating out of a vending machine because she never cares to make him a nice lunch, she eats well at home (with money that he earned to support her). While he’s working graveyard shift to support the family, she’s at home sleeping normal hours. While he’s having a hard time at work with unsaved heathens, she waits until he gets home to continue giving him a hard time.
Those wives probably do exist, but this just sounds like shittiness in general. So why single out shitty wives? As opposed to just shitty people. Oh, of course, saved husbands are different from those unsaved heathens and walk without reproach. Sometimes he’s even forced to rub heathens’ bellies and feed them their slop directly! How unsightly! And then he has to come home to a wife who isn’t an android tailored to bead his chest hairs with drops of honey as he wolfs down her forty-seven course dinner! Why can’t the world be as great as he is!?
Time-after-time she abandons ship and leaves him, but he never once leaves her. Time-after-time she drag people into their marriage, who ought to mind their own business; but he never drags anybody into the marriage. Time-after-time she embarrasses him in public, slanders him on the phone, spreads gossip about him, sows discord between him and his friends, screams and yells at him in front of the neighbors; yet he tolerates her because he knows that it’s all a part of the sinful nature.
“No matter how many times he bones her with his rod of correction, all it ever does is push her sinful nature into her mouth region. He should have gotten into the surgical profession so he could learn how to sew up her mouth in such a way that it also rubs the thread against the portion of her brain that harbors her personality.”
Then after decades of living in a one-way marriage of give-and-take, the husband messes up. Maybe it’s a horrible sin, or a foolish and unwise decision. And then the wife files for divorce and demonizes the husband, blaming him for everything as if it was his fault all along. She seeks out support from feminists, a greedy lawyer, apostate ministers, and anybody who will agree with her sinful decision to divorce her husband. Boy, he messed up, he is evil, evil, evil.
Wow, even the apostate ministers are in on this! They must get boatloads of cash from the feminists and the lawyers before confession! The road to apostasy is paved with the belief that David J. Stewart I mean TRUE CHRISTIAN MEN shouldn’t be the only ones who get to tell their side of the story!
I can’t think of anything more wicked. I’m not justifying a husband who sins or messes up; I am addressing the hypocritical women who waits until the timing is right and then, after years of being a burden and causing much grief for her husband, she throws in the towel and walks away as if she’s an innocent victim of a terrible husband. That’s makes you a liar and a quitter. Jesus said only a hard heart brings divorce (Matthew 19:8). This wicked generation seeks excuses to justify every sin imaginable, from nuking innocent islanders to abortion, drunkenness, sensual dancing, homosexuality and divorce.
Hilariously, the same chapter Stewart pulls that verse from has Jesus denouncing marriage itself.
When are you going to be taking that knife to your balls, Stewart? We await with our camcorders and party hats.
God sees the truth and knows. 1st Samuel 2:3, “Talk no more so exceeding proudly; let not arrogancy come out of your mouth: for the LORD is a God of knowledge, and by him actions are weighed.” I love that Scripture. The Bible says, “Shut up! God knows what’s really going on. You can’t fool God! God will judge all mankind.” God knows our true intentions in every matter, whether we are sincere or if there is a selfish reason. Proverb 24:12, “If thou sayest, Behold, we knew it not; doth not he that pondereth the heart consider it? and he that keepeth thy soul, doth not he know it? and shall not he render to every man according to his works?”
So let me get this straight, it’s okay to paraphrase the Bible using modern lingo, but not to provide a slightly alternative translation. Ah, right, I forgot the thing that makes it right when you do it, your solipsism.
If you’ve already put a knife in your husband’s back, this article is not for you. No doubt you’ve already condemned me for speaking the truth of God’s Word. I wrote this article to most of you ladies who are still married. Please don’t divorce. Whether you feel that you have been a good wife or a bad wife, please don’t abandon your loved one. It’s more than honoring your marriage vows to your spouse and God on your wedding day.
Note: Stabbing your husband in the back includes ever listening to anyone besides your husband, David J. Stewart, or Jack Hyles. If you hear a communication from God himself, you may consult any of the above three to make sure God meant exactly what they want him to mean.
It’s loving Jesus Christ enough to remain loyal to your spouse. Did you hear what I said? It’s a matter of whether or not your love Jesus Christ more than yourself. 2nd Timothy 3:1 foretold of the Last Days when people would love only themselves. We are living in these wicked times of apostasy.
Why, it’s almost as though Jesus didn’t do jackshit to bring peace to the world after all!
If you feel that you need to leave, then do so, but never divorce. 1sy Corinthians 7:10 says not to depart (divorce), but if you do, God commands you never to remarry. If you do, you’re an adulterer (Matthew 5:32). The way of a wicked woman is to divorce and then shack-up, living in adultery after quitting her marriage. TENS-OF-MILLIONS of Americans are shacking-up instead of getting married, because of the Godless courts which have perverted justice, equity and truth. Men are terrified to remarry, and women are too vicious to stay with a man anymore. Feminism is cutthroat!
“Did you know that for every feminist Tumblr post, all women globally grow an extra tooth in their vaginas with which to cling to their shacks where they shack up with not-you? If only God could stop it somehow!”
This can all be avoided if women would just be faithful to their marriage vows and stay married. I don’t care if you and your husband live separately, work separately and go to separate churches… STAY MARRIED! Whether you like it or not, it is God’s way. This selfish idea that God didn’t intend for us to be unhappy, so if you’re unhappy divorce and move onto greener pastures. You’re a selfish jerk if you do that. I’m talking to the jerk who leaves their spouse in tears of agony and loneliness, because you condemned them in their sins and faults. You’re so perfect aren’t you? If I’ve rung your bell, good, I hope the shoe fits well. I’m say, don’t abandon your spouse! Don’t quit!
Compatibility has nothing to do with it, if you mistakenly married someone who turned out to be a total warthog, stick with them anyway! DJS wants you to suffer because why bother rectifying preventable lifelong anguish when you could be spending that valuable time reading Jesus-Is-Savior.com while hubby karate chops you in the back of the head for hunting the wrong species of squirrel for his third breakfast.
Listen to me, there are HUNDREDS of excuses to justify divorcing your spouse if you’re looking for them. According to law, a divorce should not take place unless there is justifiable cause. The courts are so crooked these days that they’ve come up with a scam called “Irreconcilable differences.” When you file for divorce ladies, the first thing your lawyer is going to do is ask you for all the dirt on your husband. If he as much as called you a name, your lawyer is going to have the judge summons your husband to court as a criminal. Your husband is going to be served a summons to divorce court by a U.S. Marshall. Lawyers go for the jugular vein in any court case.
Husbands call their wives names all the time! That’s not his inner hatred poking out or anything! Seriously, couples get into heated arguments all the time, but they never call each other names. That really is divorce material. It’s a fundamental breach of mutual respect. So, what choice monikers did you beat your wife with, Stewart? Did you call her an unsaved heathen? Maybe you slut shamed her when she looked at a guy in a magazine whose lips WEREN’T covered with ten square miles of beard hair straight out of a genetic experiment gone awry? Or did you resort to the slur pathetic egotistical retards like you always fall back on when your dim bulbs have seen a spark from a mind that’s actually a step above Swamp Thing… bitch?
What the crooked judge and greedy lawyers really want is a no fault. They know that in many cases that a husband doesn’t want a divorce and refuses to sing the divorce agreement. So what they do is threaten him that if he doesn’t agree to “Irreconcilable Differences,” then they go after him under criminal law. Either way the wife is going to get her divorce. Lawyers threaten to take away a father’s children if he refuses to sign, saying that the judge is a lesbian and will take the wife’s side. Lawyers are liars and will say anything to scare, force or coerce you to do what the judge wants done. Your lawyer has no loyalty to you, only to the court.
You know when you enter the court and there’s a gaggle of naked women on the floor in the shape of a goat’s head, you’ve pulled the short straw and landed yourself a LESBIAN judge. Only lesbians could ever side with your malfuctioning chore harpy I mean wife, every other human would of course be captivated by your rugged everyman charm.
U.S. courts are feminist influenced, biased against fathers and husbands, and are evil to the core. For any wife to drag her husband into a heathen court of law is the epitome of evil. For a so-called Christian wife to drag her husband into court is to destroy her life’s ministry, for God created the woman to be a HELP MEET to her husband. God created man to do his work. God created the woman for the man. If you destroy what’s left of your marriage you have flushed your ministry down the toilet. If you remarry, you are living AWOL (absent without leave).
Yes, I’m sure you’re only not remarried by choice, Stewart.
Although God will forgive you for the sin of divorce if you seek it, the consequences of your evil will irreversibly hurt the family for a lifetime. The damage cannot be undone. The lives destroyed cannot be rebuilt. The hatred and bitterness caused by a divorce often lasts for decades and until the grave. No wonder God hates divorce so much; it is a sin that perpetuates for a lifetime.
As opposed to an unhappy marriage, which only lasts for decades and until the grave.
I know what really makes God angry are the marriage-meddlers who are quick to destroy other couple’s marriages and families—either because they’ve ruined their own and misery loves company, or because they’re self righteousness hypocrites judging things that they don’t fully understand, or they’re just plain evil. They think they’re helping a wife and doing a good thing; but in reality they are destroying a husband and forcing the children to pay for the sin of divorce.
God doesn’t supply an instant safety net for the children affected by the choices of their parents because he’s a STUPID DIVORCE SUPPORTER AND PROBABLY ACCIDENTALLY EVIL
The serpent came along in the Garden of Eden and deceived Eve into eating the forbidden fruit, and in so doing she ruined the lives of Adam and her children. The same is true with the forbidden fruit of divorce. It will ruin the lives of your family, while the serpents merrily go their way without a care in life. What do they care if they destroy YOUR marriage? What do they lose if they ruin YOUR marriage? What does it cost them? Nothing!
“Gays marrying totally affects other people’s marriages though, because the thought of penises with pretty engagement rings to match their crowns will make my meatspin propel me to yet uncharted layers of the atmosphere, unable to disseminate my saving message of enduring on in arbitrary misery.”
Don’t be a fool. Don’t make the lawyers richer. Don’t give the New World Order more ammunition of another broken family. Nearly every woman who divorces her husband has a list of his faults that she uses in an attempt to justify her evil decision to break her marriage vows. And since there’s a bunch of idiots like her who’ve also quit their marriages, fools are never in need of more fools for companionship. It’s called feminism.
Those fools, marrying people after learning what they’re actually like! Don’t they know that they should encase themselves in impossibly immobile full body plaster casts made of the Bible and then say nothing that could be naughty?
The Bible says concerning a godly woman in Proverb 31:12, “She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.” If you don’t like my preaching, then get mad at God because He said it. A godly woman will do her husband good, and not evil, all the days of her life. Divorce is an evil of evils. In fact, next to murdering your spouse it’s the worse thing you can ever do to hurt them. In many cases divorce is much worse than death, and preferred by the victim of a divorce. There is no heart’s pain in this world any worse than being abandoned by the wife or husband of one’s youth.
You should simply chain yourself to a person with whom you’re no longer in love, out of pity for their feelings. You should safeguard his butthurt until the end of days and walk and talk softly, lest he ever learn he’s living a lie, and adapt. Why ever remove a band-aid, that hurts! Just brand the band-aid in deeper!
I could just as easily have applied this truth to women, but there is a big difference. Women find a lot more emotional support, shelters and sympathy in a failing marriage than men do. For that reason, and because women file for divorce at more than twice the rate of men, I reach out primarily to women. My heart’s intention is pure before God. I hope to prevent some divorces. Please don’t do it. Don’t murder your marriage because it’s less than perfect.
Yes, all women feel an overwhelming compulsion to divorce because their marriage are “less than perfect.” Funny how they went years before marriage before he made a single mistake, but I guess that’s just how saved men are.
You know, that’s exactly what divorce is, you’re murdering your marriage. You might as well take a gun and pull the trigger on your spouse when you file for divorce. If divorce is a light or trifle matter to you, it is only because you have no loyalty nor fear of God before your eyes. Most people don’t (Romans 3:18-19).
Therefore, most unsaved people would fucking shoot their spouses. Stick with me, honey! I only shoot when dinner’s not on the table by noon and kept warm for me for seven hours via the heat from the hell-furnace that is your vocal folds in case I happen to come home early, and also when you think a thought that I didn’t approve in triplicate with two and a half years’ advance notice.
Listen to me carefully you Christian wives. Couple’s descend into the abyss of life’s problems together in a marriage, but when one receives what seems like a helping hand out of the pit, and leaves the other spouse to drown in the miseries and burdens of life by filing for divorce… no wonder divorce is the number one cause of suicide amongst men!!! If you abandon your spouse and leave him to drown in his burdens, afflictions and heartaches in life, you’re exactly like Satan.
There’s no such thing as a divorce of mutual agreement/acceptance to Stewart. If you think of something that hasn’t even occurred to him, you’re just like someone tempting him with the fruit of the knowledge of good and evil. You’re just like Satan. And that’s a good thing.
I just discovered that Hollywood’s making a Noah movie, so I thought I’d do a Noah article–one by one “Gary J. Hall,” otherwise known as DJS’s underworld name as a record-holding raccoon penis bone huffer.
Chew on this piece of riveting journalistic muckraking from one Texe Marrs. The famed Scofield Reference Bible–beloved by evangelicals all across the nation for many decades due to its very credulous annotations–is, of course, the work of the devil. Personally, I don’t think enough of the things in this world are hell gas in disguise.
I am constantly amazed at the gross spiritual apathy and blasphemy of men and women, supposedly “Christians,” who possess a woeful ignorance of the true meaning of the Kingdom of God.
As shocking as it may seem, millions of people who consider themselves perfectly knowledgeable of the prophetic scriptures are today working earnestly in a misguided effort to help Satan and the Beast of Revelation establish their latter days global kingdom.
Disgustingly, these millions of “evangelical” and “fundamentalist” Christians actually believe that in helping Satan and the Beast set up their bloody kingdom on earth, they are, in reality, serving God.
Somehow I’m not buying that a significant portion of the population sees themselves as giving Lucifer the leg up.
The sinful world has their own perverted definition of what “nakedness” means. The horrible, lewd, bad influence on young girls, Taylor Swift, was recently featured on Joan Rivers’ filthy show, The Fashion Police, commenting about Taylor’s wardrobe and appearance at the 2013 American Music Awards. Miss Swift was wearing a tight gold miniskirt all the way up to her private area. Her thighs were completely exposed and naked. Her chest area was exposed except for a thin strap that covered her breast teats.
“Her right breast teat was clearly .047 millimeters longer than the other. Is there a clearly sign of Satan than this? No, in fact that is God’s new definition of Satan.”
I think you may be overselling the shock value, Stewart. Maybe when you’re the only one blowing up at this, YOU’RE the one with the issue.
Joe and Emma have never done anything not illegal, and this is doubly true for the Meat Mutant podcast. Furthermore, we own absolutely every property swiped for cheap gags, a fact that may come as a surprise to those who created them. Lawyers, please sling only your most defamatory arrows. Go for the low blows. Contact Joe for a list of everything wrong he's ever done, he should have a fresh list in about fifteen.