Second Law Episodes

 

Episode 1: Introlent

Here we go, the first episode of “The Second Law,” wherein our intrepid hosts get a “feel” for each other, introducing themselves and discussing, among other things, their deconversion experiences.

If you like it, give your thanks to hosts Emma and Joe (Moggie and Gliblord from the Irreligiosophy forums). If you don’t like it (hey ptah, ‘sup), blame Leighton.

 

Episode 2: The Apocalypse

Due to literally overwhelming negative feedback and consternation, you will be pleased to hear that we will not be recording any more episodes of The Second Law. We were asked to help Leighton and Chuck out, but it seems our time and effort was anything but helpful.

To those who gave us some encouragement and were willing to give us a go, thank you. To those who used words such as “horrible”, “an abomination”, “shit” and “horrendous” (amongst other words I will not repeat here) to describe our first attempt at putting an episode together, I guess we are sorry you didn’t like it, and fuck you.

Apart from our voices and accents (which we can’t change), no one really specified what made our first show so awful. Please don’t tell us now – we’ve had about as much feedback as we can take! It’s a shame because we had fun recording it and were looking forward to doing more until it became evident that it wasn’t worth it.

Anyway, at least we tried, but it didn’t work out how we hoped. Shit happens.

We’ll see you on the forum.

Emma & Joe

 

Episode 3: Easter

The 2nd Law has died, the 2nd Law has risen, the 2nd Law will come again (lucky 2nd Law).

Yes, we’re back from the dead with an episode all about Easter. Well, it’s more about all the goriness of The Crucifixion and the Stations of The Cross. Then, we spend about 1 minute on Jesus’ resurrection. That’s just how The Gospels roll.

Be sure to check out the freaky floating Jesus face (Veronica style) under the Second Law thread on the Irreligiosophy forum. Seriously, Joe is scarred for life. Emma is just quietly amused, and maybe a tad frightened.

Between gadflies, bilbies, a whole lotta Marys and some random dude named Simon, we hope this episode floats at least a small portion of your boat. We know we haven’t nailed it yet, but please don’t be too cross (LOL).

Our loins are girded, so bring it, bitches.

Emma

 

Episode 4: Zoroastrianism

In this episode, Joemma discuss Zoroastrianism; the world’s first “revealed” religion (meaning a prophet pulled this shit out of his ass/arse). Zoroastrianism’s theological innovations provided the backbone for the Abrahamic faiths as we know them today. It is admirable for its emphasis on celebrating life and its optimistic perspective, as opposed to the asceticism and self-loathing promoted by more emo religions of yore like Manicheanism.

Joe knows a fair bit about this shit, so he takes the lead while Emma says “OK, yep, interesting” a lot, and leaves the more linguistically dextrous Joe to pronounce all the foreign words just right.

Good thoughts, good deeds, good words and a good time will be had by all. Rev up your Mazda, you’re in for one hell of a ride.

Joemma

 

Episode 5: Australian Indigenous Beliefs

Wominjeka (that’s “Welcome” in the Wurundjeri language). In this episode, Joemma explore the antipodean aspects of Aboriginal Australian Spiritualty. Between flying uteruses, yowies, being sung to death, The White Australia Policy, missionary positions, the inaugural Skunk Dick of The Universe and more tangents than you can point a bone at, it’s a dream of an episode. We tried to stay away from politics and be PC, but, well, that was an epic fail.

Joemma

 

Episode 1-2: Of Pirates and Pasta

Yarr ye scoundrels. In this episode, Joemma combine discussion of one of Emma the wench’s favourite topics (carbohydrates), and one of Cap’n Joe’s favourite topics (pirates). Yes, we get stuck into some heavy FSM (Flying Spaghetti Monsterism) and segway nicely into Pirate and seafaring mythology with stories of guts, glory and gore. Apologies in advance for some shitty audio quality (the FSM was causing interference with his noodly appendage. Maybe we were being sanctimonious holier than though arses). Feel free to criticise us, but we’d really rather you didn’t, and if you do, we might just have to throw a stab rabbit at you, or tie ropes through your fingers and set them on fire. Just sayin’.

Joemma

 

The real episode 2: Judeo-Christian Hell

Joemma, go to hell. We get fired up, hot and heavy and discuss where we will
eventually get to meet each other, Hell (we are both definitely going – see you
there). Unfortunately, by then we will be transformed into immortal giant worms, only be able to eat puree, and may be tickled for all eternity by Satan and his feather duster of evil. All jokes aside, a critical examination of the photographic, auditory and historical evidence that we present undeniably proves the existence of Hell under your very feet, fool. Your carcass will be shaking in its boots, for 12 quintrillion years. You really should take this shit very serious – Jesus does. It’s one Hell of an episode.

Joemma

 

Episode Pi: Pythagoras

Joemma are back with a chimera of a podcast about Pythagoras. He was a bad ass/arse possibly batshit crazy guy who led a cult with some really weird ideas. Despite being a brilliant mathematician and philosopher, his views on beans, chicks wearing gold and the square root of 2 will amaze you. This is not a dude you wanna piss off, but he’s handy to have around if you’re about to be mauled by a raging wild animal or want to know how long a hypotenuse is. The first time we recorded this podcast it sounded like we were 13 year old kids with ADHD on speed. So we recorded it again and sounded like 80 year old half dead philosophy professors. We have tried to combine the best of both worlds via the joys of editing – hopefully you’ll love it as much as a fat kid loves Pi.

Joemma

 

Episode : 妖怪

Turning Japanese, Joemma are turning Japanese, you’ll really think so. In this episode, we brave the supernatural world of Yōkai, spirits of Japanese folklore. Japan freak Joe leads us through this seriously weird and wonderful topic with tales of tails, shitloads of shape shifters, hoards of hags, and testaments to…well, you’ll find out. You’ll have a ball of a time listening to this one, but might want to recite some sutras and write your name on a cucumber before pressing play, just to be on the safe side.

Joemma

 

Episode X: Modern Day Mick Miracles

It’s a miracle! Joemma’s voices speak to you out of thin air and proclaim sacred prophecies and secrets for those who obey The Second Law. In this episodewe discuss some of the better known modern day Catholic miracles. More Holy Mary Mother of Gods than you can poke a Maguey at, holey hands, and a whole lotta WTF? await the faithful. Don’t believe us? The proof is in the podcast.

Oh, and apologies for the dodgy audio. The spinning, dancing multi-coloured sun threw out a few coronal mass ejections that killed Joe’s laptop.

PS: The intro came up on my news feed the day after we recorded this episode. It was indeed a miracle.

PPS: Word nerds (esp. Meowicus), stay tuned at the very end for a deep and meaningful discussion about the role of schwa in the word “Katsushika”.

Joemma

 

Episode C#: Christian Music

From Gregorian chants to liturgical dance to Satan’s hands down Katy Perry’s pants, in this episode Joemma take you through a very condensed and somewhat whimsical history of Christian Music.

Interspersed between the two of us crapping on, you will be treated to the aural pleasures of praise to Jesus in various guises including hymns, carols, CCM, (C)rock and (C)rap. And, of course how could we forget the Satanic messages that only become apparent when you play songs backwards.

The episode culminates with the world premiere announcement that Joemma will be forming a Christian Metal Band, whose name we are sure you will appreciate.

Turn it up to 11 and enjoy.

Joemma

 

Episode Sv: Tort Law

Our first threesome! Three ex Catholics talk about how science rules and faith sucks.
In this episode, Joemma make their interviewing debut with none other than Irreligiosophy’s resident Aussie physicist and overall really smart person, Tort. Tort explains what physics is really all about, and how dumb arse/ass humans try and use theories such as quantum mechanics to explain or defend concepts that have nothing to do with physics at all. Joemma follow the discussion up to a point, but keep on wanting to replace reality with analogy. According to Tort, this human condition may be the root of the whole problem to begin with.

On a lighter note, we also discuss Tort’s in depth study of the quantum nature of Leighton’s penis, what happens when you throw your balls at sluts, and some Australian nutjob Christian conservative politics.

And, to top it all off, Tort has the best giggle in the whole of known space-time.
Could we be any worse at interviewing that Chuck & Leighton? There’s only one way for you to find out.

Joemma

 

Episode 69: The Pornocracy

In this episode, Joemma delve into the juiciness of The Pornocracy. It was a time when harlots ruled The Catholic Church and Popes were very naughty. Yes, if you can believe it, The Catholic Church has a history of sexual scandal (shock horror, gasp). Also, we debut our new regular segment “J.I.S. Of The Week”, and it’s a ripper. If you love whores, you’ll love this episode. Three times as much as usual.

Joemma

 

Episode 666: Satan

Joemma were both having weeks from Hell, so we thought giving Satan some attention might get him off our backs. In this episode, we return to the wormy core of the Earth to discuss Satan (our sweet, forsaken Satan). From Genesis to Revelation, Enoch to NIV, this adversary, slanderer and liar (well, sort of) makes his presence known. Whether it be serpent, multi-headed horned beast, Santa Claus or brother of Jesus, this dude is everywhere. The Satan and his fiery stones are not to be messed with. If you do, they can screw up your audio (blame him, not us).

Joemma

 

Episode Twhelve: Whelve Law

In this episode, Joemma have the caprifoliaceous pleasure of interviewing the whonderful Irreligiosophite Whelve. What a delight. We discuss crappy Christian music, paganism, practical jokes, Julian Jaynes, and laugh a lot. Whelve is a triple threat: smart, hella funny and way cool. Watch out faeries, she has you hook line and sinker. We are sure she will have the same effect on you. Be overwhelved and enjoy.

Joemma

 

Episode 123 Enoch

Joemma spend almost 2 hours giggling their way through Books 1,2 and 3 of Enoch.. Enoch was a lucky son of a bitch who lived a very long time and got to meet God while touring multiple Heavens. He was so impressed he wrote a book about it, fell on his face and wet his pants a lot.  He also went to Hell, told us all about the planets, and bored his son shitless lecturing him about righteousness. But most of all, Enoch taught us about The Watchers and The Nephilim, and gave Joemma just the excuse they needed to generate some of the most immature material on teh interwebs. Who knew the end of the world could be so much fun.

Joemma

 

 

Episode*: Alchemy

This episode is gold (well, lead painted with egg yolk – close enough).  Joemma explore the experimental and spiritual aspects of the ancient proto-science of alchemy In our search for The Philosopher’s Stone, we stumble across such wonders as homunculi, crucified snakes, green lions and hermaphrodites.  We also meet up with the colourful likes of Boyle, Newton, Enoch (again) and an awesome chick named Maria. However, in our search for The Sorcerer’s Stone, we just end up inadvertently worshipping Satan (as you do). So, shake the lead out and test your mettle, precious. You will be transformed.

Joemma

 

Episode 6: The Inquisition

No-one expected The Inquisition, but here it is. In this this part of a two part episode, Joemma explore how The Inquisition got started and evolved throughout Europe and beyond.  It’s a laugh a minute as we converse about conversos, heresy, Papal bulls, autos de fe, torture, Crypto- Jews  and our favourite Grand Inquisitor, Torquemada. So, strappado yourselves to the rack, turn it up, and enjoy a pretty strong lesson as to why separation of church and state is a fucking good idea.

Joemma

 

 

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Joe and Emma have never done anything not illegal, and this is doubly true for the Meat Mutant podcast. Furthermore, we own absolutely every property swiped for cheap gags, a fact that may come as a surprise to those who created them. Lawyers, please sling only your most defamatory arrows. Go for the low blows. Contact Joe for a list of everything wrong he's ever done, he should have a fresh list in about fifteen.
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